Passion is a strange fuel. It keeps us moving when our stomachs are empty and our brains are full of doubt. It is the energy on which our engine for finding and realizing our bliss depends.
I believe that passion can be felt both as a great motivator and as an oppressive hunger, either propelling someone toward his bliss or protesting when he strays from its path. Both qualities still stir within me, and I am stuck with the conflict over what path to walk, knowing that walk I must.
My last entry had me writing bittersweetly, but hopefully, in the face of my last day at my last full-time job. I have since found another job, this one more interesting and closer to home but still lacking the security and benefits that a proper full-time job offers. And though it is more interesting than my last position, it is not, ultimately, what I want to do with my life, and the pangs I feel are my passion reminding me so.
I believe that passion foments talent, and I believe that our bliss, our talents, and our passions work in concert. In many ways, my belief is teleological: Our motivations and desires exist in order for us to define and hone our talents and use them to contribute to the betterment of all living things. As grandiose as this may appear, in my mind—no, in my heart—I find it wasteful for it to be otherwise. This is a patently unscientific view of things, and I suppose it can be seen as a statement of faith.
While the temporary setback of being without a job has been solved, my grander search exists in earnest. Before this year began, I predicted it to be a crucial turning point in my search for personal and professional bliss. While that bliss has not been fully realized as the eleventh month begins, I do believe that the corner—not yet turned—is in sight.
I believe that passion can be felt both as a great motivator and as an oppressive hunger, either propelling someone toward his bliss or protesting when he strays from its path. Both qualities still stir within me, and I am stuck with the conflict over what path to walk, knowing that walk I must.
My last entry had me writing bittersweetly, but hopefully, in the face of my last day at my last full-time job. I have since found another job, this one more interesting and closer to home but still lacking the security and benefits that a proper full-time job offers. And though it is more interesting than my last position, it is not, ultimately, what I want to do with my life, and the pangs I feel are my passion reminding me so.
I believe that passion foments talent, and I believe that our bliss, our talents, and our passions work in concert. In many ways, my belief is teleological: Our motivations and desires exist in order for us to define and hone our talents and use them to contribute to the betterment of all living things. As grandiose as this may appear, in my mind—no, in my heart—I find it wasteful for it to be otherwise. This is a patently unscientific view of things, and I suppose it can be seen as a statement of faith.
While the temporary setback of being without a job has been solved, my grander search exists in earnest. Before this year began, I predicted it to be a crucial turning point in my search for personal and professional bliss. While that bliss has not been fully realized as the eleventh month begins, I do believe that the corner—not yet turned—is in sight.
1 comments:
Keep the faith, Romman. It took me forty years to finally pay attention to my fundatmental passion. Trouble is, I had several passions over the years (I, too, am the perpetual student), but somehow I was always unconsioucly afraid of the one passion that was deepest in my heart.
I also have a great partner in life. He gave me that extra boost to take the leap into my longing. Now, I'm running on the steam of my own passion (and cliches ;-)).
Let the hunger and longing guide you, but beware the hunger part forcing you down the practical route. Sometimes that's necessary, but walking the path consiously is part of the prize.
Enjoy!
Fran Friel
Yada Feast
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